She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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