They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also, beer. Big fan.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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