am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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