Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
