Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
