How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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