Screwed.edu
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
