please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
