It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
