I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
