Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
