Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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