Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
