This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
