my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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