I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
