porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
