Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize