my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
