I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
