I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
