No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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