Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize