i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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