The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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