Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is wine microwaveable?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize