Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
