You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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