Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
