About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I want to fling myself into the sun
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
