I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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