do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize