Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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