Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
