I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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