Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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