we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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