he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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