I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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