Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
