id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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