i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
