talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
