his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We had sex on a dog bed..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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