i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
