Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
