who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My dick has a subreddit
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize