help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
