wakey wakey hands off snakey
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize