Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
