But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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