so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
