So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
