Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
