I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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