i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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