I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
