turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
