oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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