hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
