Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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