i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you would pick up someone in the library
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
