I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize