all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
