How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
