I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize