there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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